Tuesday, July 22, 2008

New Hire Anouncementletter

I love it!

Ich möchte McDonalds von Herzen danken, dass es mir mit seinem aktuellen Asien-Angebot folgenden, seit Jahren gewünschten Dialog mit dem Theken-Mädel ermöglicht hat:

"Hallo."
"Hallo, was darf's sein?"
"Einen Krabbenburger bitte!"
"Sie meinen einen Shrimp Lemon?"
"Ja. Aber ich wollte schon immer mal einen Krabbenburger bestellen!"


Sie hat gelächelt.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

What Is Perrier Good For

duck well that ends well when the faint of heart skip

Traurig starrte the duck on the bread. Why they had beaten only full belly with the worthless, half-digested and disgusting green stuff floating on the lake? Well, she could not know that would throw a tourist from New York running by his half a roll a few minutes later, just in front of their nose, so she had initially satisfied with what was given to her from the lake.

Damn. The bread will swell, dissolve into its component parts in the stomach and finally end this arrogant goldfish that had to do not usually better than to nibble at their fins. Silly brood.

considered the duck. You could press the bread towards the shore, so that the fish would not turn. She looked to the shore and saw a crow who squinted as inconspicuous as possible in their direction. Fortunately not discreet enough, and thus was able to duck reject this plan as well.

"Why does my stomach and have been so full!" cried the duck inside. Cautious if they tried they could not but take a bite to swallow but only at the thought now it was something bad. Hopeless.

She tried to remember what people did in such a situation. Many times they had watched a stroller walked by the lake and ate this delicious bread. And although it was sometimes too much for them she threw the bread to the duck, but rather wrapped it in paper bags or plastic to make it a plug to be converted into the pockets.

"a bag! That's it now. But where to?"

seeker you looked across the water, but could see nothing. But then she saw a twinkle back in the reeds, not far from the point at which they retired at night. Curious, she began

in the direction of the reeds to paddle and drove it to a few gold fish, who had secretly approached their flippers. Stupid brood!

walked Arriving at the reed, hope to the duck in bright friends. While it was not a plastic bag and paper (That would be in the water so absorbed probably directly and had the bread not protected from moisture), it was a not insignificant piece of aluminum foil, which was kind of just fell into the water, that it is not collapsed, but comfortably bobbed on the water.

full anticipation paddled back to the duck for bread and began to push it towards the reeds. She had to hurry, because more water penetrated into the bread, and it began to even small parts to separate from the outside.

But the bread was quickly in the film and with a sweeping set the duck threw the bread on the film and was glad that even with the extra weight never set.

only when she tried to foil over the bread with their beaks shut them had problems. Because the water did not offer enough resistance, they could not fold the foil, but it started to tip over and over again. The only solution was to try it on the bank and hope that it would be faster than the crows.

But the duck was smart. She managed to push their bread-boat nor within the reeds on land and close the foil over its precious treasure, the crows before they could reach. She quickly pulled

her pack back on the lake and the crows looked after her sad and helpless.

"We did it! Mein See schützt mich vor den Krähen und die Folie schützt mein Brot vor den Fischen! (Dumme Brut!) Jetzt kann ich mich einfach nur noch auf ein Festmahl heute Abend freuen. Gott schütze die Umweltverschmutzung!"

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

When You Get A Pregnacy Test Ho



Heute möchte ich meinen kleinen Beitrag auf niveauvolle Weise damit beginnen, dass ich am Montag tierisch gekotzt habe. Nicht im übertragenen Sinne, sondern so richtig schön wortwörtlich.

Und es lag mal nicht daran, dass ich mich in der Auslegung meines maximal zuführbaren Alkohollevels geirrt hatte, denn an diesem Wochenende hab' ich nur ein einziges Bier getrunken und das schon Freitags. (Vielleicht kann man aber auch zu wenig saufen, who knows?)

somehow seems to have caught me a 24-hour flu. That there really is something have I have always doubted and considered it the perfect excuse of truants.

first I thought that I may have gambled a little too much Playstation. 20 hours of play time in a period of 28 hours seem really a bit much, so viewed in hindsight, but I've done already without me inside out inside me then. Also, I had to play through Metal Gear Solid 4 on a weekend, because I was afraid to come during the week not to be. (The astute reader has now learned the way, that I also this weekend a PS3 have risen.)

But as I've now been told that 4-5 other people were killed in my immediate environment, the same symptoms to the victims, I believe there that there must have been something flu.

Well, at least one extra day off. Also if it would have preferred to be more capable than the whole day lying on the bed because of dizziness is not capable of more than a minute to get up and "Rosebud" moan.

(The "Rosebud" part falls under the category of poet Erich freedom, everything else is perfect and as always the truth!)

PS: I'm fit again.

Friday, July 4, 2008

How Much Is 1 Mb Phone

If the technology fails and fleas Older ... mature

So ein Mist. Das Handy ist hinne und kein Rechner mit Photoshop ist in Reichweite.
Wie soll man denn da für's Flöh'le eine anständigen Geburtstagsgruß hinbekommen?

Dann muss es wohl die klassische Methode tun: Worte.

Liiieeeeeebe Floh!

Ich wünsch dir alles, alles, alles, aber SOWAS von alles Gute zu deinem Geburtstag! Wie alt wirst du? 25? Gell, sowas um den Dreh. Jungspund!

Und bleib immer so witzig, spritzig, knusprig, lustig, schnucklig, nicht buck'lig, freundlig, geschmeidig und vor allem flauschig wie du bist seit ich dich kenne und hoffentlich auch noch lange Jahre kennen werde! In dem Sinne: Party on!